COMICS READING FOR JULY: “Catching up (part 1)”

* NOW WITH STAR RATINGS (ala Wrestling Observer Newsletter PPV reports) *

HOW I RATE THE COMICS VIA THE ALAN MOORE SCALE

*****     Watchmen, Miracleman, V For Vendetta
****      From Hell, Supreme, Swamp Thing, Fashion Beast, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (first two series)
***        Axel Pressbutton, Tom Strong
**         Promethea
*           LoEG: Century: 1969
DUD (or lower) any of his non-comics stuff

1. Tarot #31 (BroadSword Comics, 2005) *

Writer/artist: Jim Balent
It was only $3 at Elizabeths, so I couldn’t resist picking up this copy of Balent’s unintentionally hilarious sword’n’sorcery series. Hey! It’s my guilty pleasure in comic book reading.
And, hell, he draws great big-breasted babes, so that’s always a bonus! This issue is real filler fluff with Tarot and her boyfriend John whittering on about spring (and various euphemisms for stiffies and sex). Then John stupidly steps inside a “Fairly Circle” (I assume that good spelling isn’t one of Balent’s strong points) and they’re transported to a fairy realm. John gets seduced by mermaids while Tarot battles a cheeky fairy and a dominatrix spider with baby spiders crawling out of her vagina (I can’t make this shit up). In the end the couple get out of trouble and fuck on the last page where Balent sternly warn readers to wear a condom or else. Utterly stupid fun, but as it was cheap, I had to buy it. These issues usually sell for ridiculous amounts after release. My two big questions are: how can such sexist claptrap be read (and admired) by so many women? And how does Balent’s dumpy small-boobed girlfriend/artist’s model Holly Golightly get transformed into the pneumatic Tarot? Talk about artistic licence!
A few more random thoughts: I find that for a full-on sex’n’violence-saturated comic, Balent draws some weirdly coy covers and random images inside the mag (but he’ll then run graphic spread-leg pin-ups there as well, plus run topless photos from readers. Strange.)
I find it hard to believe there are readers of the book (many of them females) who buy Tarot not to be ironically ironic or whack off to the big-boobed babes, but because they find the dumb, insulting, at-times misogynistic book “empowering to women”. Really? REALLY?!

2. Absolution: Rubicon #1 (Avatar, 2013) ****

Writer: Christos Gage/Artist: Daniel Gete
3. America’s Got Powers #6 (Image, 2013) **
Writer: Jonathan Ross/Artist: Bryan Hitch
Fuck! I am soooo sick of this underperforming series. And now Ross has stretched it out to a seventh issue. Fuck! Gonna sell off this American Idol-meets-Heroes mishmash as soon as I’ve read that final ish. Fuck!
4. Jupiter’s Legacy #2 (Image, 2013) ****
Writer: Mark Millar/Artist: Frank Quitely
5.-6. The Bounce #1-2 (Image, 2013) **¾
Writer: Joe Casey/Artist: David Messina
Average superhero stuff. Underwhelming.
7. Batman ’66 #1 (DC, 2013) ***½ 
Writer: Jeff Parker/Artist: Jonathan Case
Groovy.
8. Kick-Ass 3 #1 (Icon, 2013) ***¾
Writer: Mark Millar/Artist: John Romita Jr
A promising start to this final arc.
9. Idolized #5 (Aspen, 2013) ***½
Writer: David Schwartz/Artist: Pasquale Qualano
So, apparently, this was all a set-up for an ongoing series. A bit disappointed there. It had a conclusion, I guess, so I’ll probably walk away at this point. An okay series in the end, but Wildguard covered the same territory more effectively years ago.
10. A1 (Titan, 2013) **
Writers/artists: various
Surprisingly meh. I won’t be back.
11. Catalyst Comics #1 (Dark Horse, 2013) *½
Writer: Joe Casey/Artists: various
Another anthology – when will American companies learn that American readers don’t like anthologies? Meanwhile, Casey proves for a second time this month that he isn’t half as clever or “out there” as he thinks he is. Boring 1990s superheroes unnecessarily revived.....shit, hasn’t this already been done with Valiant this year? 
12. All Crime Comics (Art Of Fiction, 2012) ***
Writers/artists: various
Hardboiled crime noir that never quite scales the heights. Sub-Brubaker writing and sub-Sean Phillips artwork for the bulk of this indy book. OK in parts, I guess. The Bruce Timm cover is beautiful.
13. Mystery Society Special 2013 (IDW, 2013) ****½
Writer: Steve Niles/Art: Andrew Ritchie
And then – among the dross – this little gem turns up in my stack. I loved the Mystery Society miniseries from a few years back, so I was very happy to see it make a return. An added bonus is the clever guest appearances of such horror archetypes as Dracula, Frankenstein and the Golem. Never has Drac seemed so gentlemanly yet horrific at the same time. A quietly brilliant one-shot from Niles.
14. Uber #0 (Avatar, 2013) ****
Writer: Kieron Gillen/Artist: Caanan White
The Nazis invent superheroes and win WW2. An interesting premise, but taken from the angle of the poor people struggling to survive war-torn Berlin in 1945. This is more of a horror series than a superhero or war yarn. And, being Avatar, it’s chockers with gore. Unpleasant, yet highly readable.
15. Time Warp (Vertigo, 2013) *****
Writers/artists: various
I don’t usually get so enthused about anthology specials (even though I buy them all the time), but this comic is a gem from start to finish. Sure, not every yarn is a goal, but every tale is thought-provoking and several are pure gems. A star-studded cast of creators including Matt Kindt, Jeff Lemire, Gail Simone, Simon Spurrier and Dan Abnett easily make this my favourite comic so far for the year.
16. Joe Hill’s Terrifyingly Tragic Treasury Edition (IDW, 2013) ****½
Writer: Joe Hill/Artists: various
I loved treasury editions when I was a kid and I’m a big fan of Joe Hill’s Locke & Key series, so this title was a must-have. It collects some rare Hill tales with the art blown up to nearly twice the usual size. My favourite yarn is the last one, Open The Moon, which is a hauntingly beautiful tribute to Winsor McKay’s Little Nemo In Slumberland. I nearly had a tear in my eye over this one. Just a lovely, lovely story and a fantastic collection put out in an eye-catching format. Well done to IDW on this one.
17. Red Dragon #1 (Comico, 1996) DUD
Writer: Brian Azzarello/Artists: Tony Akins (interior); Simon Bisley (cover)
Review can be found online at jackkingkirby.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/quick-review-red-dragon-1-comico-1996.html.

18. Final Crisis Aftermath: Run! #1 (DC, 2009) ***¾

Writer: Matthew Sturges/Artist: Freddie Williams II (interior); Kako (cover)
Didn’t know what to expect from this comic, but I enjoyed it so much I’ve tracked down the rest of the series. In Final Crisis, low-rent supervillain The Human Flame killed the Martian Manhunter. By the end of the “event”, he was in a hospital bed and being hunted by every good guy and baddie on the planet. This six-issue miniseries shows what happens next for the ultra-violent, but ultra-stupid crook as he tries to escape his fate. Good stuff.
19. Sex #4 (Image, 2013) ***½
Writer: Joe Casey /Artist: Piotr Kowalski
20.-21. Scarlet #6-7 (Icon, 2013) ***¾
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis/Artist: Alex Maleev
22. Weapon Brown: Blockhead’s War #7 (Death Ray Graphics, 2013) ***½
Writer/artist: Jason Yungbluth
A suitably gory, disgusting conclusion to Jason’s post-apocalyptic vision world populated by cartoon strip characters. Chuck and Snoopy kick the snot out of Calvin and Hobbes in a brutal slugfest.
23. Blast Furnace: Recreational Thief Vol. 1 (self-published, 2012) ***¼
Writer/artist: Ryan Browne
24.-26. God Hates Astronauts #1-3 (self-published, 2011-12) ***½ 
Writer/artist: Ryan Browne
Too weird to explain. I think my head exploded while reading it. Ultimately, both are love stories – with ghost cows, ninja owls, giant-headed superhero crybabies and evil John L. Sullivan! Just buy both titles at www.godhatesastronauts.com.
27.-28. The Ride: Southern Gothic #1-2 (12-Gauge, 2012) **¾
Writers/artists: various
Oversized, overpriced and overrated. This uneven, ultimately underwhelming sequel isn’t a patch on the original The Ride series.
29. Image Firsts: Morning Glories #1 (Image, 2013) ****
Writer: Nick Spencer/Artist: Joe Eisma
30. Image Firsts: Peter Panzerfaust #1 (Image, 2013) ***
Writer: Kurtis Wiebe/Artist: Tyler Jenkins
The “Image Firsts” series is a great idea. Reprint a bunch of first issues at $1 price tag to get new readers hooked onto old, successful titles. I tried these two on a whim. Peter Panzerfaust is a rollicking WW2 yarn that reads like a serial from an old British weekly like Battle, Valiant or Lion. It’s quite old-fashioned. I enjoyed what I read, but it didn’t entice me to return for more. However, the first ish of Morning Glories grabbed me by the short’n’curlies and wouldn’t let go. A group of different but uniquely similar teens are accepted into a prestigious-but-mysterious college. We know from the first few pages that the faculty are evil but we don’t know why nor the reason why they want these kids. But the shocking final page has me suckered. I need to get my hands on the first trade now. Well done, Image. You have a new fan of this series.
31.-34. Red Mass For Mars (Image, 2010) ***
- originally published in Red Mass For Mars #1-4 (Image, 2010)
Writer: Jonathan Hickman/Artist: Ryan Bodenheim
I like Ryan’s artwork, but Hickman’s yarn left me cold and I found none of the characters particularly appealing.
35. Marvel Share Your Universe Sampler #1 (Marvel, 2013) ***
Writers/artists: various
I really enjoyed the Marvel Adventure line – no-nonsense, fun tales featuring my favourite heroes, particularly The Avengers. Then Marvel killed off the line a few years ago. Now, I see that Marvel has brought back a kid-friendly line of comics again, this time tied into all the animated TV series they have up and running. This sampler gives us a taste of what they have in the line – Spider-Man, The Avengers, Spider-Man, etc – and it’s pretty funky. Having talented writers like Christos Gage and Fred Van Lente on board helps. All in all, I’d be happy to steer my kids towards these comics.
36. Revolver by Matt Kindt (Vertigo, 2010) ****
Sam wakes up one morning to find his world has gone to shit: avian flu epidemic, a dirty bomb going off in Seattle, social and economic chaos across America. That night he goes to sleep and the next morning he finds...the world has returned to normal. No-one has experienced what he just did – girlfriend, family and work colleagues all remain blissfully unaware. Is Sam dreaming? No! The process continues that night and the following night and so on... Sam wakes up to find himself in one of two worlds: the first is filled with unimaginable hardship and carnage, the other banal and boring...but safe. But which world would Sam rather live in: the one where he feels truly alive (even though he risks death at every moment) or a world where he’s loved and secure...yet unfulfilled and dreadfully unhappy? And what happens when Sam meets the one other man in the world who is also sharing these two worlds? Kindt has again produced a thought-provoking masterpiece that’s every bit as disturbing and compelling as Mind MGMT.
37. Varoomshka by John Kent (Eyre Methuen, 1972) ½*
Political satire only works if people remember what the fuck was being satirised. English politics 40 years down the track means fuck-all to me. Certain political figures featured in this hardback collection of strips are familiar to me – PMs Edward Heath and  Harold Wilson, Tory MPs such as Sir Alec Douglas-Home and the future Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher, US Prez Richard Nixon and Vice-Prez Spiro Agnew and Rhodesian PM Ian Smith. Actually, that’s not too shabby – but I’m sure most other people picking up this book would struggle with half the faces, most of the names and ALL the issues of the day. Which makes it a real chore to read this strip that appeared regularly in the otherwise conservative The Guardian newspaper. Varoomshka herself is a gorgeous-but-naive observer of the political machinations going on around her, usually while half-dressed. It’s well-drawn but time has not been kind to this collection.
38.-43. The Sixth Gun Vol. 1: Cold Dead Fingers (Oni Press, 2011) ****½
- originally published in The Sixth Gun #1-6 (Oni Press, 2010)
Writer: Cullen Bunn/Artist: Brian Hurtt
 It’s nice when you discover a hidden gem like this title and you get to enjoy a slab of the trades that have come out in the past two years. Gothic western horror about six unholy guns and the evil that men will do to get their hands on them and the immense power they possess. Love it!
44. Housewives At Play: “Lez” Be Friends by Rebecca (Eros Comix, 2007) **
It still amazes me sexually perverse stuff like this is published by the same elitist group that constantly pooh-poohs mainstream Marvel and DC for printing “crap”. Pot calling the kettle black, me’thinks. As for “Rebecca” (and I truly doubt she’s a real female), she knows how to draw naked ladies, that’s for sure.
45.-46. The Mysterious Strangers #1-2 (Oni Press, 2013) ***¾
Writer: Chris Roberson/Artist: Scott Kowalchuk
47. Smoke And Mirrors #1 (IDW, 2012) **¼
Writers: Mike Costa and Jon Armstrong/Artist: Ryan Browne
I liked Browne’s art  on God Hates Astronauts, but it’s all a bit too straight in this tale of an alternate Earth where magic is a part of everyday life. The storyline just didn’t grab me.
48. CBLDF Presents Liberty Annual 2012 (Image, 2012) ***
Writers/artists: various
49. Rombies #0 (Gestalt, 2010) **¾
Writer: Tom Taylor/Artist: Skye Ogden
Zombies in ancient Rome? Meh.
50. Ghosts #1 (Vertigo, 2012) ***½
Writers/artists: various
51.-52. The Fall Of The House Of Usher (Dark Horse, 2013) ****
Writer/artist: Richard Corben
53.-56. The Twelve #9-12 (Marvel, 2012) ***½
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski/Artists: Chris Weston (interior), Paolo Rivera (covers)
Finally! JMS finally got this maxiseries finished. Was it worth it in the end? Sorta. I thought the ending was kinda low-key and a bit of a cop-out, really, but overall I enjoyed the series. And, unlike some other series I’ve got into in the past, at least it received a proper ending! 
57.-63. Revival #6-12 (Image, 2013) ***¾
Writer: Tim Seeley/Artist: Mike Norton
I want to give this “rural noir” series – about the dead returning to life in a non-zombie-but-still-creepily-sinister-fashion in Hicksville, Wisconsin – four stars, but a letter in #6 summed up my feelings perfectly. He wrote he had trouble keeping track of the many characters from issue to issue. I just read seven issues straight and *I* don’t understand who all these characters are. Seeley has a lotta subplots on the boil, but to his credit I think everything is building nicely each month and the gory shocks – though coming thick and fast – don’t stop the overall storyline from moving forward slowly but surely. I like this series a lot – there are images in each issue that stick in your head long after you put the book down. Not too many comics have that effect on me in 2013.
64. Bucko by Jeff Parker & Erika Moen (Dark Horse, 2012) ****½
A podcast is coming soon to discuss this brilliant graphic novel plus The Sixth Gun Vol. 1 & Saga Vol. 2. Stay tuned!

COMICS READING FOR JUNE: “Iron Man...made of iron”

“I guess that’s why they call him Iron Man,” said Brian

* NOW WITH STAR RATINGS (ala Wrestling Observer Newsletter PPV reports) *

HOW I RATE THE COMICS VIA THE ALAN MOORE SCALE

*****    Watchmen, Miracleman, V For Vendetta
****       From Hell, Supreme, Swamp Thing, Fashion Beast, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (first two series)
***         Axel Pressbutton, Tom Strong
**           Promethea
*              LoEG: Century: 1969
DUD (or lower) any of his non-comics stuff

1. Superman 3-D #1 (DC, 1997) ***

- originally published in Superman 3-D (DC, 1953)
Writers/artists: unknown
2. Children Of Fire #3 (Fantagor Press, 1988) ***
Writers: Jan Strnad, Richard Corben/Artist: Richard Corben
The highlight is the reprint of an old underground tale called “Kittens For Christian”. The newer yarn is pretty ordinary, but. Beautiful Corben art as usual, though.
3.-4. Giant-Size Sidekick #3-4 (free with Comic Heroes #16-17, 2012-13) ***
Writers/artists: various
They can try to be as nostalgic as they like, but rereading old British strips like Shako (killer polar bear) and Johnny Red (disgraced English pilot now flies for the Russians during WW2) are laaaame.
5. Local Heroes (free with Comic Heroes #16, 2012) ***½
Writers/artists: various
English-based publisher SelfMadeHero is putting out some very interesting graphic novels right now. A few of these could wind up in my collection, including Pachyderme and Deadbeats.
6. The Comics Journal #299 (Fantagraphics, 2009) **** (*** for Eve)
I normally wouldn’t include a comics news’n’interviews mag in this list, but this issue features a complete graphic novel, 1943’s whimsical, text-free Eve by legendary animator Myron Waldman. Actually, I bought TCJ#299 for the extensive feature on (at that point) the greatest comic book never published, The Someday Funnies, compiled by Michel Choquette. This will be discussed in-depth in a upcoming podcast.
7.  Occupy Comics #2 (Black Mask, 2013) **½
Writers/artists: various
Stridently righteous. Alan Moore’s left-wing history of comics has become tedious. So has some cynical screed on the uber-rich fucks who destroyed the American (and possibly the world) economy in recent years. And, frankly, don’tcha think this whole 99% “Occupy” bullshit kinda done its 15 minutes? Yeah, me, too.
 
THE MAN IN THE IRON MASK
IN CELEBRATION of the recent release of Iron Man 3, I decided to read a whole bunch of Iron Man comics I’ve built up over the years. Let’s see if the yarns are as rusty as Shellhead is after he’s been caught in a storm.

8.-27. The Essential Iron Man Vol. 1 (Marvel, 2000) **¾

- originally published in Tales Of Suspense #39-72 (Marvel, 1962-65)
Writers: Stan Lee & friends/Artists: Don Heck, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko Wally Wood & friends
Growing up in the 1970s and 80s, I used to wonder why Iron Man was constantly referred to as a second-string superhero. After all, he was immensely powerful (strong enough to take on Thor in a battle),  and was a key member of The Avengers. But this 500+ page B&W omnibus explains why by exploring Shellhead’s crappy past. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I read these seminal stories from half a century ago, but boy! Do they suck! The artwork – primarily by Heck – is pedestrian at best. But it’s Lee’s writing that really lets down the series. Where do I begin? The horrible romantic clichés involving the tiresome unconsummated relationship between Iron Man’s alter ego Tony Stark and his secretary Pepper Potts; the love/hate relationship between Pepper Potts and Stark’s chauffeur Happy Hogan; the constant whimpering by Stark about his weak heart preventing him from leading a normal life (he dates movie actresses, is a multi-millionaire and is a genius inventor...yeah,  right, I’m sure readers wept for him); regular near-death occurrences where Iron Man has to rush home mid-battle and plug a power cord into a wall socket to re-energise his heart (seriously); the constant recycling of plots (super-villains attack a Tony Stark factory, Iron Man stops them); the boring nature of his foes (for every Mandarin and Hawkeye we got a Jack Frost or The Actor); the lame limitations of Iron Man’s powers back in those days; and the pro-government/anti-Communist propaganda that must have been tiresome even during those Cold War days for pre-teen readers. Need I go on? Luckily, Iron Man was to get better (although it took more than 15 years in his own title). Phew, time to move onto some better-quality, more-recent Shellhead material, me’thinks.
28.-35. Iron Man: The Armor Wars (Marvel, 1990) ***½
- originally published in Iron Man #225-232 (Marvel, 1987)
Writers: David Michelinie, Barry Windsor-Smith /Artists: Mark Bright & Bob Layton, Barry Windsor-Smith
Not the best storyline ever, but still strangely satisfying. Tony Stark discovers that all his Iron Man technology has been stolen and used to enhance armoured supervillains. He decides to retrieve te stolen tech by force, pitting him against a wide array of Marvel Universe baddies – Stilt-Man, Controller, Crimson Dynamo, Titanium Man, etc – along with goodies such as Stingray and the Guardsmen. Iron Man is soon at odds with former friends and allies such as Captain America, Nick Fury, The Avengers and, eventually, the US military. The storyline’s resolved way too easily in the end but Iron Man’s rogue nature and “do-what-must-be-done-and-hang-the-moral-expense” attitude is refreshing in many ways, especially for late 80s Marvel. I enjoyed the trade.
36. The Invincible Iron Man #500 (Marvel, 2011) ***¼
Writers: Matt Fraction & friends/Artists: Salvador Larroca, Kano & friends
I felt like I stepped into the end of a major storyline here. I’m gonna have to go back and read these Matt Fraction-penned Iron Man omnibuses I bought last year and work out what I missed.
37. Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas #2 (Marvel, 2008) **½
Writer: Jon Favreau/Artist: Adi Granov
What a gyp. I thought this miniseries was only two issues long, turns out it’s a four-parter...that was never completed for reasons unknown (boo!), featuring great Adi Granov art (yay!) and sub-part writing by a slumming actor/director (boo!) and guest-starring a rebooted Fin Fang Foom (boo!). Disappointing.
38.-40. Iron Man: Director Of Shield #22-24 (Marvel, 2007-08) ***½
Writer: Daniel & Charles Knauf/Artist: Roberto De La Torre
To be fair, I only bought these issues because they featured Captain Ultra.
41.-46. Iron Man: Industrial Revolution (Marvel, 2011) ***½
- originally published in Iron Man Legacy #6-11 (Marvel, 2010-11)
Writer: Fred Van Lente/Artists: Steve Kurth & Allen Martinez (#6-9), Philippe Briones & Jeff Huet (#10-11), Juan Doe (covers)
To be honest, I only bought this for the cover art – very Soviet, very people’s revolution. This “untold” story from Iron Man’s past is fine and features interesting appearances from the Serpent Society, The Pride, obscure villain The Hangman, Herbie the Robot and The Illuminati, as well as Tony Stark during his “I’m a destitute recovering alcoholic” period in his career. That said, a tale like this is innately damaged because it’s set in Stark’s past so we know he’s not going to die, nor is the storyline gonna fuck up what happens later. It’s essentially meaningless. But IMIR is still a fun read, especially as the entire conflict is based on a thoroughly sitcom-ish mistaken identity/two parties at cross-purposes cock-up. Very 80s.
 
47. Clive Barker’s Next Testament #1 (BOOM!, 2013) ***¼
Writers: Clive Barker & Mark Miller (no, not THAT Mark Millar)/Artist: Haemi Jang
48. The Phantom #1663 (Frew, 2013) ***
Writer: Jim Shepherd/Artist: Keith Chatto
A reprint of Phantom #951A from 1990, the first all-Australian produced Phantom tale. This came out to commemorate the recent death of Shepherd, who did much to maintain the Phantom’s popularity in this country in the 80s and 90s and into the 21st century.
49.-54. Saga Vol. 2 (Image, 2013) ****
- first published in Saga #7-12 (Image, 2013)
Writer: Brian K. Vaughan/Artist: Fiona Staples
55.-58. Deathmatch Vol. 1 (BOOM!, 2013) ****¼
- originally published in Deathmatch #1-4 (BOOM!, 2012-13)
Writer: Paul Jenkins/Artist: Carlos Magno
Marvel Secret Wars done right.....and much bloodier. A damn good read so far, much better than I expected, actually.
59.-63. Ed Burns’ Dock Walloper (Virgin Comics, 2008) **¾
- originally published in Dock Walloper #1-5 (Virgin, 2007-08)
Writers: Ed Burns & Jimmy Palmiotti/Artist: Siju Thomas
A gangster tale that doesn’t quite make the grade, although Siju’s Kirby-influenced art is nice in parts (but amateurish in others). A gangster with a big right hand (literally) slowly begins his rise to power in 1920s New York. This is nothing I’ve not seen before in Hollywood flicks.
64. Groovy Gravy #11 (Edge Comix, 2009) DUD
Writers/artists: various
Even a cool cover plus various strips by good friend Mister J can rescue this Aussie comic. It’s the utter shits.

65. Nuts: A Graphic Novel by Gahan Wilson (Fantagraphics, 2011) ****

66. Marble Season by Gilbert Hernandez (Faber, 2013) ****
The world of kids – in all its casual brutality, day-to-day fun, banal activities and things far more meaningful (although we were all too young to fully understand them at the time) – are captured in two very different books. Nuts was a regular strip in National Lampoon from 1972-86. This book collects all the strips, childhood experiences appraised with a more cynical adult eye (and infused with a 1970s post-Watergate/JFK cynicism). This is far darker than anything Wilson ever drew for Playboy magazine. As for Marble Season, the work is far more innocent and playful, but still there are big issues hanging around the periphery, on the edges of the comic panels. Both books end nowhere in particular. The principal stars are still in the midst of their childhood, a little wiser but still young and reckless enough not to care too much about the mistakes they’re inevitably going to make in the years ahead. I envy them a little.

QUICK REVIEW: Red Dragon #1 (Comico, 1996)

YOU'D think a comic written by the great Brian Azzarello, with interior art by Tony Akins and a blockbuster cover by Simon Bisley would be an awesome read. And you'd be utterly wrong.
Red Dragon is just about the worst piece of shit I've read this year. Admittedly, this came out in the dying days of Comico, a great indy company in the 1980s - home to the intelligent superhero/horror series Elementals, plus Mage, Grendel and Robotech - that went bankrupt in 1990. Sadly, byy 1996, it had degenerated under new ownership into a sub-Image (y'know, anguished antiheroes, big guns, improbable outfits and physiques, gritted teeth), T&A-oriented line, mainly living off various Elementals one-shots, like the tawdry Elementals Sex Specials.
In 1996, there was a flurry of activity and a bunch of new titles were promised to the comics-buying public. One of them was Red Dragon, which I bought the other day on a whim for a buck. God, I wish I hadn't.
From what I can tell from the poorly written plot, it's a tale of a dragon god, brainwashed by them godless Chinese commies to be some kinda Oriental Superman. On his first mission, he violently beats up a psychotic gang of bank robbers, causing the death of all the innocent hostages in the process. It's dumb, cartoonishly violent (which takes away from the seriousness of the shit going down) and has no likeable characters whatsoever. Red Dragon is brutal, arrogant and an all-round dick. There's also a glaring plot hole that Azzarello just ignores at the end of the issue. Never has a second issue felt so unwanted and, luckily, Comico went belly-up before it could think about producing a No. 2 (although No. 1 is a pretty big number too already).
To be fair to Azzarello, this was one of his first writing jobs. He's gone on to bigger and better things.

Of equal amusement to the appalling main story are the various T&A-filled ads for upcoming Comico releases, some of which may (or may not) have seen the light of the day. The funniest of the lot is the ad for Bathory (below).

Seriously, have you ever seen a more PORNO comic book ad in your life? I think not. It'd be fucking hilarious if it wasn't kinda sad. It's depressing how far Comico went downhill in its last few years.

Classic "Bunny Allen" by Keith Chatto

THIS seven-page instalment of the good-girl comic "Bunny Allen" was published in Tex Morton's Wild West Comic (c. late 1940s). Chatto was one of the finest exponents of good-girl art in Australia from the 1940s through to his death in 1992.

 

 

Enjoy!

At Supanova in Sydney today...

 

A sad sight near the end of Supanova today. Legendary X-Men writer Chris Claremont is all alone while fans swamp, on the right, George Perez (understandable) and Alex Saviuk (not so understandable). It was cool to meet all three men (even if Perez was rushed off his feet and barely had time to say hello).

Support this project! (Please?)

Come on, comic book fans. This book will be awesome! Pledge some money (and score some cool incentives, too!).

http://www.pozible.com/project/23150

COMICS READING FOR MAY: “Adults only – not recommended for people under the age of 18 years”

* NOW WITH STAR RATINGS (ala Wrestling Observer Newsletter PPV reports) *

HOW I RATE THE COMICS VIA THE ALAN MOORE SCALE

*****    Watchmen, Miracleman, V For Vendetta
****       From Hell, Supreme, Swamp Thing, Fashion Beast, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (first two series)
***         Axel Pressbutton, Tom Strong
**           Promethea
*              LoEG: Century: 1969
DUD (or lower) any of his non-comics stuff

I HAVE a surprising amount of porno comics in my collection, so I decided to read them all in May. As you can see, porn doesn’t just have to mean rooting. There was also some horror porn thrown in as well. Guess what, I barely got through half of what I slated to read. Man, I have a lotta porno comics. Anyways, here’s my list and some thoughts on the “highlights” – to be honest, it wasn’t a high-quality month.  Oh, I also read some non-porno comics, too.

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!
1.-2. Sex #1-2 (Image, 2013) ***¼
Writer: Joe Casey /Artist: Piotr Kowalski
Second printings?  Third printings? Wow – clearly the geeks are responding to the rather blatant (one might say “cynical”) name of this title by the bad boy of comics, Joe Casey. Superheroes having sex? Is it novel? It’s too early to tell – I’ve barely got into the story and the first two issues are already over. Will I buy No. 3? Maybe. Sex intrigues me...and so does this comic. But it better hit the money shot soon.
3.-5. Girls, Greed, Guns & Gore (Eros Comix, 1997) ½*
- originally published in B-Movie Comix #1-3 (Whizz-bin Comix, 1994)
Writer/artist: Eric Wald
Gary Groth and Kim Thompson, you are such hypocrites. You simultaneously published the elitist, highbrow The Comics Journal – that regularly slagged off mainstream comics – while putting out hard-core porn under your “Eros Comix” banner. Shame on you. Now, some Eros stuff was fine, but much of it was rubbish – like this graphic novel (which, thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for as it was given to me for free). Allegedly, the original three-issue series got destroyed by flood and only six copies remain. So the series was collected in one TPB and what readers got was hard-core filth, a confusing storyline and interchangeable, forgettable characters. I couldn’t follow what was going on and Wald’s cartoony art made the porn sections underwhelming. Unerotic erotica? Blegh.
6. Dirty Stories Vol. 2 (Eros Comics, 2000) ***½
Writers/artists: various
Sex-themed anthology with contributions from Tony Millionaire, Daniel Clowes, Bob Fingerman, Dean Haspiel and many more. Like all anthologies, the quality is patchy. And the subject matter ranges from poignant to hardcore XXX to disturbing. Thankfully, the bawdy humour on show in much of the strips saves this book from being just a wankfest.
7. Uzumaki Vol. 3 by Junji Ito (Viz Media, 1998-2012) *****
Adult comics doesn’t have to mean bare boobs and bums. Sometimes a mature title can be a perverse, dread-filled horror yarn like this classic manga. This is the concluding volume detailing a spiral curse that descends on a Japanese village, eventually destroying everyone caught in its evil web. Humans metamorphosing into snails (and worse), cannibalism, murder, insanity and worse are on display, making so-called modern horror yarns like all those Crossed sequels look piss-weak by comparison. Nothing is more disturbing, yet compelling, as Uzumaki.
8. Space Chicks And Businessmen (Eros Comix, 1997-2000) **¾
Writer: Link Yaco/Art: John Heebink
Lovely art, nicely illustrated (and hot) sex scenes and plenty of wacky humour should’ve made this graphic novel a winner. Yet I found the two main characters unlikable and there was a distinct lack of tension or excitement, even though they were being threatened with sex and/or death on every second page. By the end, I was just bored – which isn’t the reaction I want in a porno comic.
9. Doktormentor: Jail Babe Surgeon #4 (Shh!, 2011) ***
Writer/artist: n/a
What the fuck did I just read? This isn’t a comic so much as a soft-core horror/T&A fumetti. A deranged prison doctor does unspeakable experiments on sexy female inmates. Except...you don’t see much experimenting; just lots of cute Suicide Girls-type pin-up models spouting mostly lame dirty gags and general porno sleaze, some mild nudity (mainly topless) and an unpleasant edge of misogyny running through the dialogue. Inexplicably, one of the yarns is in 3D. This is one of the more unsettling oddities I’ve come across in recent years. Apparently, this wildly overpriced comic (US$9.95 for 36 full colour pages) is part of a line that also features Bettie Page fumetti yarns as well.
10.-13. Weapon Brown: Blockhead’s War #3-6 (Death Ray Graphics, 2010-12) ****
Writer/artist: Jason Yungbluth
These are the daily cartoons as you never imagined them. In a hellish future where food is worth more than gold, cyborg Weapon Brown and his deranged mutt Snoop reluctantly join forces with an underground rebellion (led by Lil’ Orphan Annie and Popeye) against the forces of evil, led by the perfect soldier C.A.L. and his pet tiger Hobs (I hope you’re getting that particular reference), as they try to capture the vital food source known as Shmoo. Brutal and bloody, but brilliant. I can’t wait to read the cataclysmic conclusion in #7, which I’ve just ordered directly from Jason’s website at whatisdeepfried.com.

14. The Cave Drawings Of Budd Root: 2010 Convention Art Book (Amryl, 2010) ***

Nice art. And it’s signed. So...y’know, that’s cool. Was it worth $14? Mmmmmmaybe not.
15. Sex #3 (Image, 2013) ***¼
Writer: Joe Casey /Artist: Piotr Kowalski
It’s still a slow-burning thing, but Casey’s story is slowly growing on me. Casey’s philosophy of doing a modern superhero yarn with a European graphic album sensibility may be paying off. I’m hooked.
16.-21. Deadpool MAX: Involuntary Armageddon (Marvel, 2011) ***½
- originally published as Deadpool MAX #7-12 (Marvel, 2011)
Writer: David Lapham/Artists: Kyle Baker, Shawn Crystal
This mature version of Deadpool is pretty dark. Our favourite insane mercenary and his flawed handler Bob relive their terrible childhoods, then inadvertently create evil organisation Hydra and are kinda, sorta responsible for the horrible destruction of Cincinatti. Along the way, we attend Bob’s bucks night (even though he’s not getting married) and meet Deadpool’s baby (which doesn’t exist0. Guest stars include totally fucked-up versions of Cable and Taskmaster. A warped, entertaining ride.
22.-24. Hard Boiled TPB (Dark Horse, 1993) ***½
- originally published as Hard Boiled (Dark Horse, 1990-92)
Writer: Frank Miller/Artist: Geof Darrow
Stylised, overblown ultra-violence. It was probably an early sign that Miller is more style than substance when it comes to his writing, but damn! Darrow’s art is gorgeous, even when it’s nothing but grue and brain matter.
25.-31. Crossed Vol. 2: Family Values (Avatar, 2011) ***¾
- originally published in Crossed: Family Values #1-7 (Avatar, 2011)
Writer: David Lapham/Artist: Javier Barreno
Indy sensation Lapham ups the gore and depravity, but is it better than Ennis’s unforgettable first series? Not by a longshot. Ennis managed to appal and shock while only touching on the true degenerate nature of the infected “Crossed”.  
32. Ranx 1: Ranx In New York (Heavy Metal, 1996) ***¼
Writers/artists: Liberatore & Tamburini
This nihilistic piece of stylish sci-fi set in near-future Italy - about ultra-violent robot Ranx and his very young-looking girlfriend Lubna - first came to light in Heavy Metal magazine in the early 80s. It’s been collected a few times and this version of volume one comes from Heavy Metal. Lubna gets kidnapped by a deranged artist who orders Ranx to kill an arts critic. Later, the couple are reunited and travel to New York where Ranx becomes the star of a stage production about the life of Fred Astaire. Along the way, Ranx kills a lot of (mainly) innocent bystanders. It’s vicious, surreal and seething with homo-erotic perversity. I also like the fact that HM got quite squeamish about Liberatore & Tamburini’s depiction of Lubna and her friend Martine, who both look decidedly jailbait-ish. The translated text repeatedly has people stating how both chicks “are 18”. That’s hilarious.
33. Porn Star Fantasies #9 (Carnal Comics, 1996) ***
Writers : Lisa Ann & Jay Allen Sanford/Artist : Daerick Gross (Lisa Ann : Jackpot)
Writers: Julia Ann & Jay Allen Sanford/Artist: Fauve (Julia Ann: Sky Queen)
Cover artist: Jeff Pittarelli
I bought this comic because I’m a huge Lisa Ann fan. This comes from her pre-cougar/MILF fame, back when she was a regular knob-gobbler. Her yarn – about organising an island orgy with all her fans – is the best of the two as Gross’s art is wonderful in a cartoony way. I’m not sure how guys would’ve felt about the men-on-men action that’s on show, but it’s still a delightfully horny romp. Julia Ann’s story – about an innocent (but sexy) woman set loose in a barbaric world – is less satisfying. Very clichéd and Fauve’s art sucks. Again, I’m not sure male readers would’ve enjoyed the final scene where Julia Ann sodomises an evil pirate with his wooden peg leg. Probably put them off their stroke. The two short stories are supplemented by several nice B&W photos of the two pornstars. I quite enjoyed this book, although I have to admit my standards going in were low.
34.-39. Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits (Vertigo, 1994) ***¾
- originally published in Hellblazer #41-46 (Vertigo, 1991)
Writer: Garth Ennis/Artists: various
40. Spying With Lana Declassified: Object Of Desire (self-published, 2011) ***½
Writer/artist: Sean Harrington
Funny, sexy comic – Sean sure knows how to draw naked chicks – but there’s an edge of misogyny when it comes to men-on-women violence. But Sean’s sense of humour helps soften some of the unpleasantness.
41. Crossed 3D (Avatar, 2011) ***
Writer: David LaphamArtist: Gianluca Pagliarani
A good yarn – nice and violent – but I found the 3D to be more annoying than anything else. Parts of the artwork were nearly impossible to make out – with or without the 3D glasses.
42.-45. Supergod #2-5 (Avatar, 2009-10) ***¾
Writer: Warren Ellis/Artist: Garrie Gastonny
I finally got to read the rest of this ultra-dark tale on what would happen if various countries tried to create their own superheroes. (Hint: it turns out really, really bad).
46.-51. Choker #1-6 (Image, 2010-12) ***
Writer: Ben McCool/Artist: Ben Templesmith
This ambitious-but-flawed super-cop/private eye sci-fi tale is extremely gruesome, but fails to hold together in one sitting. I would probably rate it even lower if I’d been forced to read it one issue at a time over an excruciating 18-month period. But in one hit, Templesmith’s art is enjoyable (as always), but McCool’s story is disjointed and dissatisfying.
52. Cavewoman One-Shot Special (Basement Comics, 2000) ***

Writer/artist: Devon Massey

He sure can draw some excellent sloppy-titted cavewomen.

53.-54. One-Fisted Tales #3-4 (Slave Labor Graphics, 1991) **¾

Writers/artists: various

Short horny gag pieces of mixed quality. Larry Welz’s Cherry Poptart in space yarn is the highlight of #3, while Evan Dorkin’s piece stands out in #4.

55. The Small Press Swimsuit Spectacular #1 (Allied Comics, 1995) **¾

56. Elementals Swimsuit 1996 Spectacular #1 (Comico, 1996) *½ 

Swimsuit issues filled with scantily clad superheroes and fantasy characters can cause much confusion to punters. Sure, they’re filled with sexy images of their favourite four-colour or B&W gals (and, in some cases, guys), but there’s no way they’re hot enough so you can jerk off to them. And buying these type of comics can be embarrassing because the dude behind the counter assumes that’s EXACTLY what you’re going to do while “reading” it. They automatically assume you’re a wanker even if the only time you’re gonna stick your hand down your pants over this over-priced publication is to retrieve your wallet to pay for the bloody thing.

That said, I bought these two comics and they were as unimpressive (as expected) but still kinda interesting. I always liked Bill Willingham’s Elementals series, even when it went seriously off the rails in the 80s (and even headed into hard-core porn at times). This swimsuit issue is a last hurrah before Comico went bust and Elementals disappeared forever. The colour pin-ups are fine, but none stand out. The biggest “names” on board are Ben Dunn, Tony Akins and Norm Dwyer. Er...yeah.

The Small Press Swimsuit Spectacular is a more humorous B&W affair featuring a who’s who of indy creators from that era: Barry Blair, BC Boyer, Colleen Doran, Matt Feazell, Brad Foster, Fred Hembeck, Max Ink, Don Simpson and  more. My favourites were Milk & Cheese (by Evan Dorkin) and Strangers In Paradise (Terry Moore). This was actually a kinda cool take on what is usually a lame and redundant sub-genre.

57. The Convent Of Hell (NBM/Eurotica, 1997) ***

Writer: Ricardo Barreiro/Artist: Ignacio Noe

This blasphemous hard-core erotic horror comic is a beautifully drawn, rollicking yarn, written and drawn by an Argentinean duo for the European market. It details the corruption of a convent of nuns at the hands (and rather large penis) of Beelzebub. The (very) graphic novel was censored for the American version, most likely due to one extended scene where the evil head nun /succubus adopts an unusual method in killing an underaged-looking cherub. Clearly, NBM didn’t want to face possible prosecution by the Feds, so they just excised the three offending pages from the story. It really doesn’t detract from the overall yarn. I suspect other shit went down for Barreiro and Noe back in Argentina (or in Europe) as the series ends rather abruptly and in triumphant, violent fashion for the Catholic Church, whose stormtroopers swiftly slaughter the deviant nuns and drive Beelzebub back to hell. It’s all too easy – one suspects the duo were pressured by higher authorities to kill off The Convent Of Hell quick-smart.

I WON’T count them as comics, but I also perused a few saucy art books starting with Frank Cho: Women: Selected Drawings & Illustrations: Book Two (Monkey Boy Press, 2013), which just may be the longest name for a book ever!  Also The Art Of Jim Balent Vols. 1&2 (BroadSword Comics, 2008). Balent can’t write for shit, but there’s no doubt he’s an exquisite “good girl” artist. Finally, I paid through the nose for Hippie Chixx (Eros Comix, 2012) by Rebecca (of Housewives At Play infamy). At first, the bush-free pin-ups grated (as they seemed soooo unlike the 60s), but the playful, hot artwork eventually won me over. I even smiled at a few of them. Nice work.

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY 2013

THIS year, I decided not to go crazy and get every single FCBD comic out there (I came pretty damn close to getting all 40-odd titles last year). Most of the ones I’ve read in recent years have been underwhelming, which rendered the exercise a bit pointless. This time, I focused on one comic shop (Phantom Zone in Parramatta) with Helen and the kids, and grabbed a dozen titles I really, really wanted to read. Here’s what I got. Really, only one title disappointed me.

58. FCBD: Mouse Guard (Archaia, 2013) ****

Writer/artist: David Petersen (Mouse Guard)

I bloody love this series about medieval mice. Beautifully drawn and delightfully whimsical, even poignant at times.

59. FCBD: The Tick (NEC, 2013) ***¾

Writer: Jeff McClelland/Artist: Duane Redhead, Pietro

Keen!

60. FCBD: Infinity (Marvel, 2013) ***½

Writer: Jonathan Hickman/Artist: Jim Cheung

For a typical Big Two crossover event, this looks decidedly more well-written and entertaining than the usual “storm in a teacup” that gets served to punters. Will I buy it? Probably not, but I’ll follow it more closely on the internetz.

60. FCBD : Zombie Cities: Violence vs Compassion (Silver Fox Comics, 2013) ***

Writers : Sorab Del Rio & Don Ticchio/Artists : various

The zombie genre is beyond played out and this doesn’t really add anything more to it. But at least it’s Australian and the art is nice.

61. FCBD: Prince Valiant (Fantagraphics, 2013) *****

Writer/artist: Hal Foster

Just gorgeous, classic Sunday funnies artwork – and the stories weren’t half-bad either.

62. FCBD: Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H! (Marvel, 2013) **

This seenms to be an adapted storyboard for a new animated cartoon featuring Green Hulk, Red Hulk, Skaar, etc. It’s quite ordinary. But, then again, maybe an animated series doesn’t translate well back to a comic.

63. FCBD: Absolution (Avatar, 2013) ***¾

Writer: Christos Gage/Artist: Daniel Gete

This book reprints Absolution #1 from a few years back, then gives a sneak preview for the upcoming new series (which I’m really looking forward to). Veteran super-cop John Dusk has become a serial killer who only murders people he perceives as the lowest scum: murderers, rapists and crime bosses. It’s an intriguing premise. His methods are terrible, but his heart’s in the right place. The perception of ultimate vigilante vs psycho nutbag is explored by Gage in this extremely gory, thought-provoking yarn.

64. FCBD: Atomic Robo (Red 5 Comics, 2013) ***¼

Writer: Brian Clevinger/Artist: Scott Wegener

65. FCBD: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles New Animated Adventures (IDW, 2013) ***¼ 

Writer: Erik Burnham/Arist: Dario Brizuela

66. FCBD: Buck Rogers In The 25th Century (Hermes Press, 2013) *****

Writer: Phillip Nowlan/Artist: Richard Calkins

Some fantastic full-colour reprints, an overview on the Buck Rogers phenomenon of the 20s and 30s, plus some nice pics of Buck Rogers memorabilia. What more could you ask for in a free comic?

67. FCBD: Marble Season by Gilbert Hernandez (Drawn & Quarterly, 2013) ****

An excerpt from Gilbert’s new graphic novel. Very intriguing.

68. FCBD: 2000AD (Rebellion, 2013) ***¾

Writers/artists: various

Another fun sampler of new and classic material featuring Judge Dredd, Zombo and more.

OTHER STUFF

69.-70. Roscoe! The Dawg, Ace Detective #1-2 (Renegade Press, 1987) **¾

Writer/artist: Martin Trengrove

I remember Roscoe! as a rude, irreverent take on the private dick genre in the old Australian anthology Fox Comics from the early 80s. This watered-down, not-very-funny reboot for the small-time American company fails to fire on any cylinders. I’m not even sure why it earned its own title, but still...good on Melbourne-based Marty for scoring this brief gig. It’s just a pity it wasn’t very good, although his MAD-inspired art was pleasing to the eye.

71. Delta Tenn #2 (Entertainment Publishing, 1987) DUD

Writer/artist: Mark Marderosian

I bought this cheap due to the cheesecake cover. D’oh. Really pedestrian “sexy cop” yarn, mired in mawkish soap opera shenanigans of the worst kind. Pretty amateurish on every level. Damn you, brief B&W comic book boom, you gave us so much shit back then!

72.-77. Hawkeye: My Life As A Weapon (Marvel, 2013) ***

- originally published in Hawkeye #1-5 (Marvel, 2012-13) & Young Avengers Presents #6 (Marvel, 2008)

Writer: Matt Fraction/Artists: David Aja, Javier Pulido, Alan Davis & Mark Farmer

Overrated. Nice artwork throughout, but Fraction’s reinvention of the boring bowman failed to engage. Considering I’ve bought a lot of Fraction-penned comics (many still to be read), I’ve yet to be entirely convinced that the guy can write a decent comic. I assume I’m in for more heartbreak in the future.

78. Jupiter’s Legacy #1 (Image, 2013) ***

Writer: Mark Millar/Artist: Frank Quitely

“...the greatest superhero epic of this generation...”
Get your hand off it, Image. This pedestrian, fairly unoriginal tale of decadent young superheroes unable to live up to the heroic ideals of their parents is part-Kingdome Come, part-Brats Bizarre. Been there, done that, Mr Millar. At least Quitely’s art is exquisite to behold.

79. Halloween Eve (Image, 2012) **½

Writer: Brandon Montclare/Artist: Amy Reeder

Beautiful art by Reeder, but this story is so wafer-thin and vacuous, I can’t believe Image gave it the green light. Luckily I only paid $3 for it second-hand. Still, nice illos.

80. Stan Ridgway: Camouflage (self-published, 2011) ***½

Writers: Stan Ridgway & Martin Conaghan/Artist: Keith Chan

This short, simply-drawn B&W story illustrates Stan’s classic 1986 hit song Camouflage. Helen picked it up at one of his Sydney gigs last month. It was even autographed by the great man. Sweet.

81. Adventures Of Superman #1 (DC, 2013) ***¾

Writers/artists: various

Pleasant. The Jeff Lemire yarn was a highlight.

82. Malus by Christopher Webster (Mmmnnnrrrg, 2004) ***

Originally published in comic book form in England from 1995-97 (I think), this bizarre take on superheroes was republished in Spain (or Portugal) by a company called Mmmnnnrrrg (I think). I found the storyline was confusing of working-class schlubs experimented on by an evil corporation, being turned into bizarre supermen, then warring with each other. But the art (part-Giffen-in-his-South-American-phase/part-Jack Kirby) is always interesting.

83-84. Wormwood #1, #3 (self-published, 1999) **¾

Writer/artist: Christopher Webster

I have no idea what’s going on, but it involves retarded porn woodsmen, bees and rooting in outer space.

85.-92. Action Comics: Superman And The Men Of Steel (DC, 2012) ****

- originally published in Action Comics #1-8 (DC, 2011-12)

Writer: Grant Morrision/Artists: Rags Morales, Andy Kubert & others

93. Occupy Comics #1 (Black Mask, 2013) ***½

Writers/artists: various

Cartoonists continue to fight the good fight, even though the Occupy movement has been kinda dead’n’buried for more than a year. Alan Moore’s working class/revolutionary overview on the history of comics is equal parts informative and strident.